Perhaps Leap Day is not all it’s meant to be. Black History Month sure has left me weak (but that is another post for another day). I started today needing some inspiration, I started today wanting to be free. However, I soon realized the same shit happens every day regardless of any special temporal event. Creeps get all the glory, bigots get leads in primaries, poor and disenfranchised continue to be poisoned, silenced, and killed. This entire month taught me that regardless of this inherently fucked up culture, I need to be my own inspiration, I need to be my own source of freedom. It’s that, or death in one way or another. My only note of advice is find the thing that drives you, AND NEVER LET IT GO! It will sustain you in times that nothing else ever will.
Leap Day only comes once about every 4 years, so I thought I would use it to expose myself a bit, you know, put myself out there?
Here’s something I wrote during the month of February, during my time of reflection and attempted renewal, in all of my consternation.
Tears of Blood
Tears of Love
Crying out from those above
Crying aloud from those below
The ones all around us
Some young and bold
Each death is a lesson
On how to live and thrive
Unfortunately for those of us who were born to struggle just to get by
We do not have many spaces to get free,
Much less places of safety where we can simply be.
So we toil about in our places with friends
Trying so desperately to become whole and then
What little hope we thought we had
Is raped and taken from us by creeps
And we are told that we should be glad
Rejoice in their victories
Embrace their hope,
If not we’d be seen as ignorant dopes
Well, if supporting creeps and inherently flawed systems that thrive off of me
Means that one day I could be free,
I don’t want any type of that commodified and manufactured freedom
That will ultimately cost me my life and lead me to my doom.
As I toss and turn I know that soon shall I rise
Out of the ashes of death, ascending the sunrise
I will use the energy and strength of my elders to fuel me
To open me up, divide and consume me
To help me become the me that I see in my deepest fantasy
To rise up out of this nightmare and become the me I’m destined to be.
I think it’s safe to say that each of us have our demons to confront. As long as you find some sense of hope and people to rely on, you can really engage the process of becoming, as long as you don’t allow those creeps to do the running. What has my time away taught me this February? That I need you and we need each other in order to even try to get free.
Liberation is consternation in the face of complacent ignorance. Let us continue to unlearn together.
Until Next Time, Happy Leap Day Comrades,
P.S.- Please excuse any grammatical and/or spelling errors, my computer has recently died on me, and I am writing from an older iPad that doesn’t do the whole spell check & grammar thang. I hope to get the hang of things soonly.