I dedicate this post to all the Black Rage,
to all of us in mourning,
who are bound to a cage,
of all the little things getting in the way of the process,
leaving us shattered at best.
I have to let it out, let it be, I have to confess. Since moving to a new city I’ve obscured myself from the tragedies of anti-blackness around me, but in the past day I could no longer. So, these instances came flooding from the background to the foreground and I don’t even have time to process. So much pain and rage in my bones, I’m sent reeling. I start to forget days and lately I’ve lost the luxury of sleeping. So, I’m just going to put it out here and vent.
If Only Our Spilled Blood Could Sustain Us.
What does one do when breathing isn’t a luxury?
When going out alone after dark is taken for granted?
When your tail light is out and all you do is shrug it off?
When all you have to worry about is your 9 to 5 gig,
and the hardest thing is working on time management?
I’ll never know because of the target placed on me,
I’ll never know cause from this skin I cannot flee.
This body of mine is what keeps me confined
to a regiment of tactics used to survive it.
Going out after dark? You BETTER not go alone.
Who knows what might happen if you’re pulled over
all alone on the side of the road.
And don’t you dare have your tail light burn out while you drive,
that might be just the ticket to land your demise.
And what really is a 9 to 5 gig
when you have so many crippling examples that you ain’t worth it?
And everything you do reeks of your melanin and culture,
don’t back step, don’t you ever alter
one step of your walk,
breathe too deeply,
don’t you dare fall
one step behind because of your community.
Don’t let the senseless killings and systematic assaults of your kindred move you
to do anything less than your 100 percent,
or you too will be at risk to lose
But what if we could figure out ways to attest it?
Ways to confront our twisted system in a way that arrests it?
Let’s convict our twisted ‘democracy’ and show them the real
anti-blackness at play
Show them the perpetual evil they slay.
What if everything had to stop working in each case of police and systematic brutality?
What if we all had to protest the fact that we are not yet really free?
Would that be a way to actively show the rate at which we are slain?
Could that be a way to emphasis the brutality and pain?
I don’t know, but one thing I do
is that at this point in my life I’m gonna have to
Call In Black.
Written by Me, 9.21.16
But seriously, try to do whatever you can to take care of yourself through these tumultuous times. Even if you gotta take days off. Even if you never intended on taking any days off but everything just compounds upon everything else until you don’t have your car, your health, or your wellness. In which case you just need to really take care of yourself before you actually do lose all the potential you’ve set up for yourself. You are not alone. Check out this video by Evelyn From the Internets and realize how not alone in this you are:
Don’t sacrifice your sanity to push your boulder up the never-ending hill. It’ll just get heavier and heavier until it kills you.
Until Next Time Comrades,