I am not
your excuse to harm
while claiming you’re unarmed
I’m not the one
you’re about to place your blame upon
your grimy sinew that connects your con.
I’ll tell you what:
You might have deceived me at the very beginning.
Not wanting to proceed with caution
and now I’m over here ending
a bond that was based in inequity
a bond where only YOU were free.
Severing a connection that was truly one-sided
that because of my brown skin and my Queer ass-
-was one that you prided.
You saw my emptiness and used it as fuel
to help yourself heal,
get free meals,
and used me as your fool.
Your silence is my evidence,
your shadiness built my resolve.
The fact that you had nothing to say to me
spoke loudest of all.
I refuse to shed tears for you
instead I cry for me
and the pain that I endured in order to be freed
from a person who ain’t know how to nurture something healthy
someone who instead fed it their long-standing history
of toxic and viral white feminist fragility
sprinkling in my Queer Black ass in hopes of achieving intersectionality–
That’s why I had to get from underneath your spell
and now that I am out of it
my hindsight had me truly compelled
to write you out of my world today
but were you ever really in it?
Or was I some sort of tool for you to remain complicit?
Written by me | 7.31.17
Finding love seems easy, but having a healthy means of conveyance is the hardest part. I hope you let my experience show that we all are struggling to find our heart’s content, so try not to be deceived by a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Until Next Time,