When the Butterflies in Your Stomach end up Actually Being Acid Reflux.

Heartburn.

I am not

your excuse to harm

while claiming you’re unarmed

I’m not the one

you’re about to place your blame upon

your grimy sinew that connects your con.

*

I’ll tell you what:

You might have deceived me at the very beginning.

Not wanting to proceed with caution

and now I’m over here ending

a bond that was based in inequity

a bond where only YOU were free.

Severing a connection that was truly one-sided

that because of my brown skin and my Queer ass-

-was one that you prided.

*

You saw my emptiness and used it as fuel

to help yourself heal,

get free meals,

and used me as your fool.

*

Your silence is my evidence,

your shadiness built my resolve.

The fact that you had nothing to say to me

spoke loudest of all.

*

I refuse to shed tears for you

instead I cry for me

and the pain that I endured in order to be freed

from a person who ain’t know how to nurture something healthy

someone who instead fed it their long-standing history

of toxic and viral white feminist fragility

sprinkling in my Queer Black ass in hopes of achieving intersectionality–

*

That’s why I had to get from underneath your spell

and now that I am out of it

my hindsight had me truly compelled

to write you out of my world today

but were you ever really in it?

Or was I some sort of tool for you to remain complicit?

Written by me | 7.31.17

Finding love seems easy, but having a healthy means of conveyance is the hardest part. I hope you let my experience show that we all are struggling to find our heart’s content, so try not to be deceived by a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Until Next Time,

-D

Polyamorous Productions

To queer forms of love and fellowship! We’ve only just begun to speak our truths.

 

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About thepsych1

I am a natural progression. As I learn and grow, so does this blog as a reflection of myself. Poetry Art Videos Critique Let's collaborate. Bring your friends.
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